brooksmoses: (Brooks and Suzanne)
[personal profile] brooksmoses
The word "family", in the sense of "chosen family" (which may or may not include one's "blood family"), can mean a lot of different things to different people. Likewise, especially in the poly world but even in the world of standard-appearing monogamous relationships, "partner" (in the relationship sense, not the business sense) can mean a remarkable lot of things.

As a result of some recent miscommunications, I'm chewing over what these mean to me, and I'm feeling very curious: What do these words mean to you, if and when you use them for your relationships? Do they have implications about what sorts of things you can rely on someone for, or what they can rely on you for? Are there expectations of willingness to perform emotional labor, or physical labor, or provide resources? (In exceptional circumstances? As a normal pattern?) Are there expectations of where the relationship fits in daily life? Of there being particular emotions that tend to come from the relationship?

Date: 2016-04-04 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wrenb.livejournal.com
I haven't been close to my relatives in a long time and while I love my in-laws I also tend to be somewhat guarded around them. I'm a shy introvert; that's just me.

My family of choice at any given time is where I let my boundaries down. Unfortunately I tend to move frequently and lose track of those people. Right now my family are my spouse and kids.

Partner is a more temporary position than spouse. I don't have multiple spouses, I have one and a partner. I can count on my partner for the usual things we do, for some emotional support, and for an occasional emergency. But when the chips are down, I don't expect my partner to drop everything and come to my rescue like I expect my spouse to. On the other hand perhaps that's not so much about family and partners and more about my marriage and the fact that we are a solid team.

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