brooksmoses: (Brooks and Suzanne)
[personal profile] brooksmoses
The word "family", in the sense of "chosen family" (which may or may not include one's "blood family"), can mean a lot of different things to different people. Likewise, especially in the poly world but even in the world of standard-appearing monogamous relationships, "partner" (in the relationship sense, not the business sense) can mean a remarkable lot of things.

As a result of some recent miscommunications, I'm chewing over what these mean to me, and I'm feeling very curious: What do these words mean to you, if and when you use them for your relationships? Do they have implications about what sorts of things you can rely on someone for, or what they can rely on you for? Are there expectations of willingness to perform emotional labor, or physical labor, or provide resources? (In exceptional circumstances? As a normal pattern?) Are there expectations of where the relationship fits in daily life? Of there being particular emotions that tend to come from the relationship?

Date: 2016-04-07 03:07 pm (UTC)
johnpalmer: (Default)
From: [personal profile] johnpalmer
Um. That's a good question. And I realized that I've been having my fatigue issues for a long enough time that I've been wandering through life long enough that I haven't really thought about them. Well, not until I was about to fly and hand to create an emergency contact and chose it to be Milli as the closest physically and chosen-familially. But I don't have well defined notions.

I do know that when I'm thinking of someone as something akin to chosen family, there's willingness to provide what I reasonably can - emotional or physical labor or resources - on an as-needed basis. And, of course, "reasonable" and "needed" can be very fluid. A big enough crisis stretches what may be ordinarily reasonable and what can be called a "need" varies based on circumstance. (A tired person might "need" enough rest to have someone fetch a few minor things if it's convenient and along the way; but a person unable to move due to physical disability needs some method of accessing things out of reach.)


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