brooksmoses: (Brooks and Suzanne)
[personal profile] brooksmoses
The word "family", in the sense of "chosen family" (which may or may not include one's "blood family"), can mean a lot of different things to different people. Likewise, especially in the poly world but even in the world of standard-appearing monogamous relationships, "partner" (in the relationship sense, not the business sense) can mean a remarkable lot of things.

As a result of some recent miscommunications, I'm chewing over what these mean to me, and I'm feeling very curious: What do these words mean to you, if and when you use them for your relationships? Do they have implications about what sorts of things you can rely on someone for, or what they can rely on you for? Are there expectations of willingness to perform emotional labor, or physical labor, or provide resources? (In exceptional circumstances? As a normal pattern?) Are there expectations of where the relationship fits in daily life? Of there being particular emotions that tend to come from the relationship?

Date: 2016-04-03 11:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can tell you the moment when I knew my in-laws had become family. I was very sick--the beginning of what would become my chronic health problem, woo--and [ profile] markgritter and I were in the middle of an eight-hour drive to a friend's wedding in Chicago. I blurted out, "I just want to go home to your folks' in Milwaukee instead." Before then, while I was fond of his folks, I wasn't yet at the point where I would have ever called it "home" or wanted to be there when I was miserable--I would rather have been in a comfy nice hotel than dealing with my in-laws.

And there are members of my family with whom that is still so, and they're still my family, but--that was the moment when I knew, with my in-laws, that we had crossed that line from Mark's parents to my parents-in-law.

Date: 2016-04-03 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile]
I can absolutely see that. And yeah, if I were sick, I'd rather be in a nice comfy hotel -- which is a metric of how things stand in my particular case.


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