brooksmoses: (Splash)
[personal profile] brooksmoses
I apologize because this is a really bad pun, as well as being a bit dated, but it won't leave my head. So I inflict it on you, my loyal readers.

So, in the beginning, the Lord created the heavens and the Earth, and the plants and the animals. And the Lord said unto the animals, "GO FORTH AND MULTIPLY."

And lo, the animals went forth and multiplied, and there were many Cute Baby Animals.

The Lord looked down on all of this, and saw that it was good.

Well, almost all good. There were only two adders, looking somewhat uncomfortable under His gaze, who were not going forth and reproducing.

And the Lord said unto Samuel L. Jackson, "GO DOWN THERE AND SOLVE THAT PROBLEM."

So Samuel went down to the adders, and they said, "Well, it's muddy down here, and lumpy, and uncomfortable, and we're kind of picky about bedding...."

And Samuel looked up at the Lord, and the Lord looked down and said to him, "NO, YOU DON'T GET TO SMITE THEM. THAT'S MY JOB"

So, he took his mighty hand and felled some trees, and built from their trunks a large smooth platform above the ground, on which the adders might be comfortable. And the adders saw it, and it was Good, and once nobody was looking, they were well on their way to producing cute baby adders.

...

Now, the moral of the story is, There are SNAKES ON A PLANE!

(What? You were expecting something about adders being able to multiply with log tables?)

Oh gods.

Date: 2008-02-29 10:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzanne.livejournal.com
Just wait. When I get home, you're getting thwacked gently on the top of the head.
Edited Date: 2008-02-29 10:20 pm (UTC)

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-02-29 10:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kightp.livejournal.com
[livejournal.com profile] kalmn stole the words outa my mouth.

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-02-29 11:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kightp.livejournal.com
You hold him down and we'll pummel him?

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-03-01 01:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiger-spot.livejournal.com
Well, I'm for it on grounds that it'd mean you were visiting.

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-02-29 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] suzanne.livejournal.com
Well, I /do/ love him. And it isn't like I haven't had time to build up tolerance.

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-03-01 04:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kalmn.livejournal.com
yes, but you have to stand in for those of us who aren't in arms reach!

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-02-29 11:32 pm (UTC)
ext_481: origami crane (Default)
From: [identity profile] pir-anha.livejournal.com
hell, no. i think SMITING is called for!

Re: Oh gods.

Date: 2008-03-01 06:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] micheinnz.livejournal.com
Tickling.

Tickling is called for.

Date: 2008-02-29 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wcg.livejournal.com
Yes, I was.

Date: 2008-03-01 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wcg.livejournal.com
So, have you seen this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=megE-VNBeZ8&feature=related)?

It's the "in 30 seconds, with bunnies" version.

Date: 2008-03-01 07:39 am (UTC)
mapache: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mapache
That's a badly filmed version of it being shown on a screen. The original animation is here, along with dozens of other movies done by bunnies.

Date: 2008-03-01 08:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sciamanna.livejournal.com
Actually, I was expecting another word before "snakes". Starts with F :-)

Date: 2008-03-02 06:47 am (UTC)
mapache: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mapache
I guess it depends on how one treats compound words and whether or not a hyphen was used.

Date: 2008-03-02 11:14 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sciamanna.livejournal.com
There's no indication in the story that the female snake is the male snake's mother...

Date: 2008-03-02 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tiger-spot.livejournal.com
But the purpose of the act is to make the female snake a mother. Does that not count? (I am admittedly pretty fuzzy on the ostensible denotations of most curse words. Connotation I have a grasp of [though a flimsy grasp, with much confusion over regional differences, esp. US/UK]; denotation not so much.)

Date: 2008-03-01 11:45 am (UTC)
julesjones: (Default)
From: [personal profile] julesjones
You are a very, very bad man.
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