brooksmoses: (Brooks and Suzanne)
[personal profile] brooksmoses
The word "family", in the sense of "chosen family" (which may or may not include one's "blood family"), can mean a lot of different things to different people. Likewise, especially in the poly world but even in the world of standard-appearing monogamous relationships, "partner" (in the relationship sense, not the business sense) can mean a remarkable lot of things.

As a result of some recent miscommunications, I'm chewing over what these mean to me, and I'm feeling very curious: What do these words mean to you, if and when you use them for your relationships? Do they have implications about what sorts of things you can rely on someone for, or what they can rely on you for? Are there expectations of willingness to perform emotional labor, or physical labor, or provide resources? (In exceptional circumstances? As a normal pattern?) Are there expectations of where the relationship fits in daily life? Of there being particular emotions that tend to come from the relationship?

Date: 2016-04-05 08:12 pm (UTC)
griffen: (Default)
From: [personal profile] griffen
Family used to mean "danger zone" and "place where I got hurt." I never used to understand why people would give two shits about their parent's sibling's child. It's just the luck of the draw, right? You are related by pure chance; why make such a big deal about it? I love my kids, but I don't love them because they're my kids. I love them because they're awesome human beings that I would want to have in my life anyway.

Then I began to find chosen families. Faire was the first big one, I think. My temple is another. And of course, my Joe and the several people who are my very, very close friends whom I'd lay down my life for.

A friend of mine introduced me to the concept of "mishpacha," or "family," in a different sense than I'd heard the word before. The idea is: I've got your back. I'll be there if things go south. You can count on me.

So today, the word "family" only means "chosen," and it means "the people for whom, if things go south for them, I'll be there to help in any way I can."


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